The Problem
It is common knowledge today that half of all marriages end in divorce. What is shocking is that that statistic holds true even for Christian marriages. In addition, second marriages are failing at a rate approaching 70%.
A few years ago the State of Alabama reported that the average length of first marriages in that state was 9 years; the average went down 2 years for every subsequent marriage.
Cohabitation
In light of these statistics, many couples are opting for living together to avoid divorce. Cohabitation, however, has it own problems.
- the majority of couples break up after only 2 years
- twice as many cohabitating couples are conflicted than other couples
- cohabitating couples score lower on indicators of personal happiness and higher in the area of depression
- couples who cohabitate before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than other couples
- when those couples come for pre-marital counseling, they score lower in almost every area of the inventory
Obliviously cohabitation is not the answer to a lower divorce rate
Observations from Genesis
- Marriage was God’s idea. Marriage is a gift from God it is meant to be a blessing
- Marriage is for companionship. God created the woman so the man would have a companion compatible with him. Marriage is closest relationship possible for two people. They are to be “one flesh.” Husbands and wives are “heirs together of the grace of life.”
- Marriage involves a new relationship. Couples leave the families of origin to establish a new family.
- God intends marriage for our good. Marriage was the answer for something that was “not good.”
God’s goals for marriage
- Personal fulfillment. God wants the very best for us in marriage. God wants our marriages to be a source of happiness, joy and contentment.
- Personal Growth. Because marriage is the closest relationship possible between two people, it gives us great opportunities for growth. We can grow in perseverance, patience, forgiveness, servanthood, love and many other character qualities.
- A witness of God’s love to a broken world. Paul reminds us that the marriage relationship is an object lesson of the love that Christ has for the church. Our marriages have the potential to reveal Christ to others.
One answer to the problem of divorce is to rediscover God’s purposes for marriage and allow God to shape our character through our marriages.